It's been a couple hard years, if you're hearing this
You probably know just what I mean
All that we hold dear has been tested here
And the results are troubling
When the storm came through and the cold winds blew
And the walls came crashing in
All we thought we knew to be tried and true
Demanded to be tried again
Now the bottom's at the top, a generation in shock
Breaking down like my first car
And the sickening drop that feels like it never stops
Yeah the floor never felt so far
I never want to hate, but I can't stop the rage
I'm a walking double-take, and I can't change
So I just try to fake that I learn from my mistakes
And maybe they'll give me a break
Is my identity a ploy? Am I a sham?
Am I a boy? ‘Cause I know I'm not a man
Can I still live shen the foundation gives
Or is that just who I am?
Expect a real cold day in a real warm place
When I say I'm giving up
You got your pitcher full of fears, yeah anxiety and tears
Go ahead and just fill my cup
When the floorboards drift and we feel the shift
Of the sand we thought was stone
And we try to lift up out of this ditch
We find we can't do this alone
From the gutter to the top, yeah we stagger till we drop
But we can't do this alone
I never want to hate, but I can't stop the rage
I'm a walking double-take, and I can't change
So I just try to fake that I learn from my mistakes
And maybe they'll give me a break
Is my identity a ploy? Am I a sham?
Am I a boy? ‘Cause I know I'm not a man
Can I still live shen the foundation gives
Or is that just who I am?
If you can see me, let me know
‘Cause there’s no point in the usual show
If there's no one around
That I might run the risk of getting to know
Feel like my head's about to blow, like I can't stand to see you go
But simultaneously if you ask to hang out I'll say no
If you can hear me, let me scream
I haven't given up on my dreams
But man, it seems like every institution made by man's a scheme
But we all bleed and we all breathe, no matter who we choose to be
And I refuse to crawl inside a hole or turn my back and flee
I will not be the bitter broken cynic crushed beneath this world
Clutching desperately to what I know with every finger curled
I will not fall, and if I do, then I will rise and carry on
I'm not defeated, I am not utterly destroyed
I am not gone
I never want to hate, but I can't stop the rage
I'm a walking double-take, and I can't change
So I just try to fake that I learn from my mistakes
And maybe they'll give me a break
Is my identity a ploy? Am I a sham?
Am I a boy? ‘Cause I know I'm not a man
Can I still live shen the foundation gives
Or is that just who I am?
I never want to hate, but I can't stop the rage
I'm a walking double-take, and I can't change
So I just try to fake that I learn from my mistakes
And maybe they'll give me a break
Is my identity a ploy? Am I a sham?
Am I a boy? ‘Cause I know I'm not a man
Can I still live shen the foundation gives
Or is that just who I am?
credits
from Turn,
released April 9, 2022
Keys, Synths: Andrew Norman
Vocals, Bass: Peter Ellis
Guitar: Trevor Fischer
Drums, Spooky Vox, Overdubs: Jason Pluemke
Recording, Mixing, Programing: Jason Pluemke
Vocal Editing: Trevor Fischer
Mastering: Stan Keightley Jr. at Vegetative State
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